The Transformation of
Marlene Neufeld

I have experienced transformation at the deepest level, where it feels like every cell of my being has been altered, and metamorphosized. I am almost unrecognizable to my old self. “Who is this person?” I ask myself with wonder and curiosity.

Let me tell you about what I used to be like and how I’ve changed. In the past, I would agree to do things to be nice, give more of me than I wanted to give and then resent it and people would wonder what happened. I took what was happening around me personally and felt like a victim much of the time. Then I would do or say something that later I would regret. I used to experience blame and judgment as a background noise wherever I went. I thought these unconscious negative patterns were ingrained in me. I thought that was just the way I was.

Now, I can more easily identify what things are within my control and what are not. Letting go of trying to control the uncontrollable has meant that I sleep better; I spend less time angry at myself or others. I have lost weight and my friends tell me I look younger and softer.

The biggest measurable change is in my relationship with my husband. We were in a rut and weren’t having much fun together. We frequently used to begin weekends with an argument and spend most of the weekend sulking. Now we experience a flow of appreciation. Our sexual relationship used to be routine and goal-oriented. Now it is creative and juicy. There used to be lots of things I thought I couldn’t say to him. Now I don’t even remember what they were. I used to be constantly afraid that he would leave me. Now I can laugh at that thought.

The biggest internal shift I am aware of is that I used to spend a lot of time in self-criticism. I now love and accept myself; and am having fun, even when I make mistakes. I have expanded in my ability to receive appreciation, both to appreciate myself, as well as believe it when it comes from others. My ability to love myself has meant that I have much more love to give others.

So now, I move through my day making choices, experiencing vitality and feeling really good.

Would you like to do the same? Contact us and we’ll explore with you.

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The Transformation of
Bob Neufeld

In the last few years, I have transformed how I experience life. I used to perceive myself as a righteous but persecuted person, being victimized by others. When conflict arose with my partner Marlene, I through it was her fault. I thought I was not being acknowledged for all I did, and that I was never getting enough of the good things in life (especially sex). I was loyal but unhappy; I saw few choices and lots of ‘no-way-out-of-this’ thinking. I remember coming home from work and looking at the sky; it always seemed cloudy and gray.

My experience now is that I have space in which to see things from a different point of view. What has changed dramatically is the speed at which I shift out of old patterns. In the past, I would have gotten stuck with anger and blame, beaten myself up by blaming myself, transferred it to blaming Marlene and stayed there for a few days. Now I notice what’s happening in my body, the energy of that pattern and can choose to shift into wondering what I can learn right now. I am seeing Marlene as my ally rather than my enemy. I am seeing the whole situation as an opportunity rather than a blockage.

I feel less heavy, more lightness in my body. I react less to things that used to trigger me. I am able to know my feelings and express them in friendly ways. I feel appreciation and love. I am focusing more on my creativity, where my genius is showing up; in my cooking, my gardening, my children’s books (especially my illustrating), my Dance leading, and my connection to the natural world. I am happier, I am laughing more, I am having more fun.

I’ve learned that I can say “no”, which has been big for me. I had a big impulse to be agreeable and often found myself having agreed to things I didn’t really want to do. I am learning to only make agreements that I really want to make. The result is I’m not burdened with things hanging over me that I don’t really want to do but feel obligated to do.

Every day there is more space in my life for things that I love; space to be outdoors, cuddling in bed with my partner, treating myself to small pleasures, having spontaneous, playful sex with Marlene. The overall result is more ease and flow in my life.

There is an ever expanding bubble of love around me. If you want to experience this same bubble of love, contact us.

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Marlene and Bob Neufeld, couples coaching - Marriage Counselling, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Orignal Design by Evan Lange

Updated Design by Computer Tamers

Dec. 08